08 April, 2008

Technology Drives Amok

Funny how things go. Hadn't read a casual blog about a GPS in ages, then when I'm going to wrote one, Grandad does one, and Michele posts a cartoon on one. Loads of room on the bandwagon so I'll post anyway.

I was going to family party the other night. Since I was planning on having a beverage or two, I arranged to stay at my aunt's house and travel with them to the party. Her hubby, UncleM, has a humongous Land Rover and all it's bells and whistles have bells and whistles.

UncleM and myself head to the car (it's a bit like saying an aircraft carrier is a boat) and he tells me to get in the front. In the dashboard is fairly large screen with the names of lots of radio stations on it. He touches a button on it, marked TV, and RTE1 comes on. "Not a bad picture" he remarks, as AuntyM struggles to heave herself up the considerable height into the back of the car. We pull off, the picture disappears for safety reasons, so he changes it back to the radio.

On route to the party we are to pick up CousinP. Going through the city centre, UncleM is playing tour guide and showing me the sites, obviously taking the mick as I've know the place since I was a kid.

From the back of the car we hear "Take such and such a road" as AuntyM gives directions to CousinP's house.

We're stopped at traffic lights. "Have you seen the Sat Nav?" askes UncleM. He hits another button and a map is displayed on the screen.

"In 200 metres turn left" says Sat Nav. "I don't know where's it's going. Can't remember what it's set to" says UncleM. "She's got a lovely voice. I've asked her out but she ignores me" he says.

"Go straight to the end of this road" says AuntyM.
"In 400 metres turn right" says Sat Nav.
Uncle Mike turns left.
"Where are you going?" says AuntyM.
"In 200 metres turn left" says Sat Nav.
Uncle Mike turns right, onto a narrow little road, which has just enough room for one normal sized car at a time. He navigates the road and finally arrives to CousinP's house, Sat Nav all the while giving different directions to some unknown location.

"I must read the manual on it" remarks UncleM, while CousinP is trying to figure out an elegant and appropriate lady-of-her-age manner to negotiate the climb into the back.

As we start to leave the housing estate CousinP says "Turn left here and go to the end of the road".
"Turn left" agrees Sat Nav.
"Why didn't you turn left?" questions AuntyM as UncleM goes straight across the intersection.

"In 400 metres turn left" says Sat Nav.
"That's right" remarks CousinP. "What's that voice?" she asks.

"That's the Sat Nav" says AuntyM. "Turn left at the lights".

UncleM turns right and heads to the next roundabout while receiving helpful comments like "See you've gone backwards to go forwards".
"At the roundabout take the third exit" barks the Sat Nav.
"That Sat Nav is a little loud" says CousinP.
"It is loud" says AuntM.

"I don't know how to shut her up" says UncleM.

I presumed he was talking about the Sat Nav, but I might have been wrong.

Oh, we did make it to the party.

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